Live from a Second Story Living Room

Hey, remember when I used to post on this?

I'm going to take a leaf out of alex's blog, the following are apologies I owe to people

Matt, I'm sorry I lie about college, or my friends or whatever. I just don't want you to be upset with me.

Ashley, I'm sorry I promised you something I'm not even doing myself anymore, and trust me, you should thank me for it.

Carrie, I'm sorry for not coming to any of the events you planned (this goes for everyone else as well) because I've decided that I'd rather be somewhere else.

I'm sorry that I've changed, and I'm sorry that I've been distant. It's not that I don't like any of you, or that I don't want to be around you. It's not that I've outgrown you. I'm not going to openly post some of my thoughts on here, but if anyone would like to have a more personal conversation, let me know and I'll explain myself better.

So, I'm going to go ahead and say I've outgrown this blog. What it had for me, what it did, I don't need it anymore. I'm not taking it down, but I'm not adding anymore either. Maybe I will blog again. But, until then...

Hey guys, what's up? It's Erick. Listen, let's have a little talk about growing up and college.

You know, I was in your shoes once. A nervous senior, going to college. I was worried that I wouldn't have any friends, and that I would be a shut in. And it happened. Like Alex said, Skype and junk wasn't enough. But the point is, this is a new adventure. A time to start over. A time to branch out. Look at all of my friends (a.k.a. you guys and gals). Now look at all of the people I've become friends with in college. You will change, there's no doubt about it. But no matter how far apart we are, no matter what happens, I always turn back into that same Erick that you guys know and love. And, I know you guys aren't interested in a lot of things that I do. And it's true that I've changed a lot. But, you won't become a different person. We won't forget what we've done. And when we get back together in the summer, or on winter break, or whatever, we'll still be awesome. So cheer up.

Part two of our little talk involves college. Now, in college, people do things. You may say, "Golly gee, Erick, what kinds of things?" Well, I'm glad you asked. Now, in college, people engage in things called "social drinking" also known for the slang, "partying". When partying, there are a few things to remember.

1. No one is looking down on you for drinking/not drinking.
This is a big one. People aren't trying to shame you into drinking, or vice versa. No one cares.

2. Parties are fun, whether you like it or not.
Yup. Even if you don't drink, going with a friend to a party is a very amusing way to pass the night. And you get stories to tell later.

3. Help your friends!
By going with a friend, you can be helpful in limiting what they consume! You can also help them get back home in the least embarassing way possible.

If you do decide to drink, remember the following, "know your limits". You don't want to wind up on the floor of your bathroom while your roommate/friend/brother/RA/LXA Alumni/etc. has to take care of you. In short, have fun, but don't be crazy. Or, have a really good friend. Either or really.

Long time no see, but it's not a good reason for me.

Hey. So, I realized that Lambda has officially infiltrated every part of my life except this, which is great for what I'm about to talk about. You see, there's always one person that ruins things for me. And that's what this post is about.

So there's this brother who just won't leave me alone. Any time I would say something, like give a comment or an opinion, he attacks me, essentially making me feel like I'm worthless. You see, dear readers, I'm here to talk to you today about...

CONDESCENDING ONE-UPPERS

Now, the COU is a rare breed of human. Take the following scenario for example.

(People over in the corner talking about things I feel uncomfortable with i.e. sex in general)
Me: Hey, guys, can you stop that? I'm trying to watch this t.v. show.
COU: Wow, Erick, that's a little homophobic of you.
Me: What?
COU: You should be more tolerant.
Me: Um, no I'm okay with you guys being gay, I just don't like when people talk about sex around me.
COU: Well, you can always leave.

The COU, once he/she has identified the prey, bites down onto the unsuspecting victim, tearing them little by little.

Me: Hey, guys, wanna watch my favorite show on netflix?
Bro (i.e. Mathew, Wes, take your pick): Sure, why not?
COU: Oh, that Anime is really bad. We should watch something better than that. My favorite show has way better plot and is more interesting.
Me: You watched it and didn't like it?
COU: No, why would I watch it?

The key to successfully identifying a COU is difficult unless you are the prey. One way, as the prey is to notify another nearby ally.

Me: Hey, guys. Is it just me, or is _____ really kind of a douche to me?
Bro: I don't really see it. I think he's just joking.
Me: Alright, just watch when he's around me okay?
Bro: No problem.
(few days later)
Bro: Holy crap he's a prick.

Once identified, there are several steps one can take in detaching the COU, unfortunately there is no solution that works other than pure silence.

COU: Hey, Erick how do you feel about _____?
Me: Meh. (insert headphones and write a blog)

Performing again

So this is the first time I've performed since The Boardinghouse, and I must say I'm terrified. I don't know how I got back to this point. Oh well. I'm doing this and nothing's going to stop me. Wish me luck!

Ouch.

Well, I'm sad. That's it pretty much. I can definitely slam my poem more efficiently now. Thursday can't come soon enough.

Poetry of the Mind are just Words of the Heart

They say, you can put your mind to anything, do anything, be anything, but the only anything I want, the only anything I need, the only anything I should have is you but you don’t want me.

Why, God, why do I love you?

There’s nothing for me here. No gilded dreams, nor silver screens, or perfect lives within my means, but from my dreams somewhere in between it seems…

Love.

The most sweet and vicious word in the English language. Tiny symbols form massive volumes of tales simple to extreme.

Love.

A word to me dripping with coulds and woulds and maybe just maybe you’d see me for you and put two and two together because for real, I feel it.

Love.

No other word makes me so warm but screws* me over more often and more effective than you. To me love is a cruel reminder: Longing only worsens a load too heavy and my shoulders are fractured from the weight of the world already.

You’ll never hear this. Never hear these spoken words of truths so deep the wounds I made to reach them may never heal. They just fester and pop, like an ulcer of the heart, you played your part from the start to create this peace of art and now it’s time to cart away the remains.

You look around and see the world with slant and skew, and nothing I could ever do would make me loved by you, never words so right brought to light that fit my plight then those words that day.

“I don’t date guys like you.”

Those words fill my head with dread of fantasies dead and buried, quickly hurried to their resting place in the depths of my soul yet I know they resurface.

I want to say I’m what you’re looking for, but that’s a lie I tell myself, cry, rebuild myself and try, live with myself, and the knowledge I won’t get there, to that existential perfection, upon reflection I know it’s you. I don’t know what I want, but I know what I need, so take heed, it’s pure greed, I need you.

Don't ask me where this came from, because in all honesty I don't know. Well, I DO know. I can't explain the talent though. Anyway, this is my slam poetry piece for the Poetry Slam hosted by Lambda. I sat down and made this tonight, but it's not finished. I'm going to work on it more, but what's your opinion?

*not actual word