And then... you bawl.

So I just reread all of your guys' blogs. And I cried again. I'm doing that a lot this year it seems. Anyway, we've all changed so much, it's scary.

To Matthew; I'd be lying if I said I didn't blame myself for your unhappiness. In all honesty, I think I caused your self-esteem issues by being an inconsiderate kid who picked on his younger brother. I love you so much, and I couldn't imagine what I would do without you. You have been with me, and you were the one I talked to about family stuff. I wish I could have protected you more. I'm sorry. But you are my best friend and I would honestly do anything for you. Please, if you need to, rely on me more. I don't want to find out something second-hand ever again.

To Carrie: You are my sister. There is no like involved. When did we become such good friends? I have no clue. Maybe my old self actually got something right; talking to you. You have helped me realize a lot of things, and I think you and Patrick will go far. Keep your relationship the way it is, and you might be on to something amazing. Also, stay strong in your beliefs. Don't take anything people tell you to believe as instantly right, unless you know in your heart that's what God wants. Being a Catholic has nothing to do with loving God and Jesus. Good luck in the play and I love ya!

To Ashley: you are my sister too. I can't imagine not having you to talk to about some things. You know, you help me by letting me help you. Don't ever let the world get you down, and if you ever need someone to talk to that won't judge, I'm always there for you, and you are a wonderful, beautiful person. I really would like to talk to you about a certain something if you have the time, because I feel like you knew first, and maybe understand better than I do. I love you and don't forget who you are and the amazing things you've done!

Moving on to people who don't read this blog...

To Shawn: You have become one of my best friends over the summer. I can't believe that we lost contact for so long, but I think you are slipping away again. I wish I could be with you to help you find what you want out of life. I really miss hanging with you.

To Austin: Really, the only reason we ended up friends was because we had mutual friends, kinda like Facebook, but in real life. I miss playing Yugioh with you, and I really hope you continue to make the right decisions in your life. I know this summer was hard on you, but forgive and forget. Just don't forget why you're here.

To Patrick: (P.S. Carrie I expect you to make him read this!) I had a great time hanging out with you over the summer. I really like you, and I take back what I said about flat billed hats if only not to include you. You are an awesome person, and I totally and wholly agree with you dating my sister. I hope we can get to be really good friends, especially because I think you are a really good Christian influence on me. Good luck in college!

To Melanie: Our friendship has accelerated quite rapidly since that day in February that you moved here. You thought I was weird, and I heard you were from the city and thought that you might be a new person to talk to about Glee. The more we talked, the more I grew to be friends with you. I know you are going through hard times, and I think you will be just fine. You don't know how many times I've spent praying that you would accept Jesus. I know you are close, and I don't want to push you. I feel like you are more spiritual than most Christians, you just don't realize it. You always ask really interesting questions, questions everyone can grow on.

To Chrissy: You kind of read my blog, but since school we haven't talked at like all. I know it's exhasting listening to all of my crap, which you probably haven't. But, just remember; I support you and James wholly, so don't hate on me! Not that you would anyway.

I know my blog isn't as artistic as Carries, or as poetic as Matthews. I don't have epic days, nor do I post interesting jokes. But, I know you guys read it, because you are my friends. I don't have to worry about you all judging my posts, or thinking about me negatively. So, what I'm trying to say is, thanks for everything.

"Be strong in the Lord and, never give up hope! You're gonna do great things, I already know! God's got his hand on you, so don't live life in fear!" High fives if you sang the rest of the line.

I promise this is the last one for the night. BTW can't wait for Glee next week (although I don't know if I should it's not very Christianly...) and for the homecoming dance, where I (hopefully) will have mastered the moon walk.